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Jun. 2nd, 2005 @ 08:58 pm Yggdrasil
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Crossposted from my own journal, a story I wrote and have no idea what to think of. Any comments are more than welcome...copyright 2005 Chloë E. EganCollapse )
Mar. 8th, 2005 @ 01:16 am critiques welcome... slay this poem please
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Comments and critiques please (long answers are appreciated).... what do u think the message is? and what impact does it have on you?

The Horse at Midnight

Last night I heard a galloping at
I looked out my window, gasp, what a
true delight.
I couldn't believe my very own sight.
An enchanted white horse galloping as
fast as you could see.
I climbed out if my window and that
horse spied me.
It galloped to me, oh how I got a fright.
But to find it was a wonderful delight.
We galloped so high I could touch the
Down to the trees, up to the stars up
high and low fast and slow.

Thanks in Advance,
Feb. 14th, 2005 @ 11:08 pm coyote and the faceless cowboy
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ok, so, this is really rough, but as i'm letting it be submitting for workshopping in class tomorrow, i'll go ahead and workshop it here as well. right now it's a bit longer than it's supposed to be, and the final scenes are really skeletal, so i could use suggestions for what to cut and what points particularly need to be fleshed out. anyway, here goes nothing. it's a bit long to be read comfortably in lj, so i'll link a file as well.
coyote and the faceless cowboyCollapse )
Feb. 2nd, 2005 @ 02:08 pm Leviathan
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A million gears, counterweights and drive shafts contributed, with endless bobbing, gyrating, whirring, swiveling and clanking, to the total function of the machine. The builders honed each part, calculated every conceivable twist and oscillation, measured the waste in the tiniest motion, until all became one in their minutely articulated ballet of forces. Over fifty feet tall and twice again as long, the machine went unfettered by buildings and trees; it trammeled fences and windmills, slid gracefully over gullies and chasms, and ground boulders to dust. A din of clanking, sputtering, clattering and grinding rose from its smoky bowels, and fleeing creatures spread a mile-wide wake through the countryside. The acrid smell of its cannons, which spewed thunder, lightning and fire, hung shroud-like over the tank, and the soot the weapons produced blanked out the sky.
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